*Practice good hygiene (if you smell and look like a bum, that's what they will think of you as):
- shower or bathe with soap and shampoo
-brush your teeth with toothpaste at least once or twice per day (don't overuse breath mints; they may hate the smell of mint [like my wife])
-get a haircut (and/or comb your hair)
-shave/trim your facial hair
-wear clean clothes or a new, simple, matching outfit
*put your smartphone on "Do Not Disturb" mode and "Silent" mode (no one likes trying to have a conversation while someone is constantly checking their phone)
*pick a date setting like a coffee/tea shop, put-put mini golf ⛳, an art gallery, a museum, a public walk at a park or around a town square
*don't choose typical dating spots like a noisy restaurant (where you watch each other try to politely devour a dish of food while trying not to burp or fart and the waiter constantly interrupts your conversation which constantly destroys your focus and increases your ADD), a noisy movie theater (where you can't talk because the movie is loud and you feel intimidated by the people around you), a bar/club (getting you or your date drunk on a first date can seriously screw up any future dates and it's typically to loud for conversations) and any loud/noisy setting that prevents you from listening and interacting with your date
*ask questions about topics that are nonsexual in nature (never, ever discuss anything regarding sex; it will come if their right for you and timing is crucial when sex/foreplay/kissing/affection is on your/their mind)
*when their talking, look into their eyes with interest and a happy expression on your face (keep your eyes above the neck line; they can see you staring at them)
*laugh if the topic is funny and they are smiling about the topic they are speaking of (a gentle laugh is acceptable over a long, frightening laugh)
*don't have long, random conversations with people around you (keep your focus on your date)
*show interest by ask a few (2 or 3) questions about what their talking about
*listening to them speak during a conversation is extremely crucial (let your date verbally talk more than you)
be courteous (hold the door open for your date and say please and thank you when necessary)
*going dutch is ok on a date (this means that you pay for you and they pay for themselves). This is a controversial topic for most and many will pay for the other. But, it's been said by many that the one being bought meals, drinks, gifts and admission tickets will feel like they owe their date something in return (like future dates, affection, sex, and so on). That's why dutch is acceptable during a date.
*DO NOT BRING UP ANY OF YOUR MENTAL DISABILITIES OR CURRENT/PAST MEDICATIONS ON A FIRST DATE (until you feel they have the proper education and understanding of any of your particular mental disabilities; just because your disability is obvious to you, doesn't mean they understand it the same way; bringing up these topics too early without them understanding what it really is can make you look crazy and can end the date early)
*topics to discuss can include:
-Culture: movies, music, art, books (genres and favorites of each; discuss a few and move on to the next topic; overwhelming your new date can be a huge turn off)
-Hobbies: these are things you like to do for fun. You may find out that you share similar hobbies (stay away from topics such as alcohol, drugs, sex and dangerous activities; these admissions can scare them away)
-Your Surroundings: you may be walking around a park, town square, shopping center and see things that are around you to talk about
-Your Childhood: ask about and share funny/interesting experiences from your past
-Your Experiences: from past jobs to vacations, talking about interesting things you've done with your life so far can help both of you to determine if you're on the same page and if you're right for each other.
*don't share anything to personal on the first few dates that they may intentionally or accidentally share with others in the future
*don't show off your date to mom or dad on the first date (this can be traumatizing to many)
*don't use pickup lines. It's extremely easy to crash and burn using a pickup line you think is funny which another person may find rude and insulting.
Many people will say to be yourself or to be normal. This is biased advice and not great advice. All our versions of normal are different from each others views. This is why it's good to discuss neutral topics in non-noisy, public environments. Show interest in your date. It's completely acceptable to compliment your date on how much you like any feature of your date (above the neckline).
I've had my share of bad experiences and date failures. Now, I'm married with three kids. I'm not an expert. But, you don't have to be. Just relax, be confident and be nice.
Extra Tip:
-Write up a list of fifty questions to talk about on a date.
-Add a few, neutral jokes anf riddles to it.
-Study that list until you can repeat that list blindfolded.
Now, when you're on your date, you'll always know something to say/ask. If you're both in a dull/bored moment, mix things up by telling a joke or asking a riddle. Briefly laugh and discuss the answer.
😀😀😀
